Keep your balance in the separation

Coparenting coaching with separated fathers...

 

Coparenting coaching* is best described as a collaborative process between a coach and a separated father, acknowledging both his fatherhood and parental capacity & competencies.

 

The main objective in coparenting coaching is to explore other tools/ strategies to better manage ;

 

1) personal health and well-being ; if you don't take care of yourself, it makes it very hard to deal with the other stuff, like being present for your children & to deal with the separation.

2) child’s health and well-being ; your communication and your child needs you more than ever.

3) other coparenting (collaborative) ways to work with the other partner in the child's best interest.

4) time to understand the legal context; guidance on trying to work on best coparenting experiential based best experiences to resolve disputes either out of court or in court. 

 

*This coaching approach was inspired and adapted on Dr. Marlilyn Taylor and Dr. Bill Berqguist's Executive Coaching / Industrial Psychology certifcation program ; part of by the Applied Human Sciences master’s program at Concordia University.

 

Our services are based on a model et five core competencies:

 

   « Socio-Emotional-Legal » model

   - developed throughout the 20 years of practice and action research

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    Five core competencies :

1. Establishing a Fondation : Based on a code of ethics; maintaining a high level of excellence.

2. Building trust : Motivational Interviewing.

3. Grieving : Giving meaning to the losses in relation to the separation

4. Mastering 4 sub-competencies of SPi coaching : participative justice, generativity, appreciative inquiry & the five dimensions of data gathering.

5. On-going learning in action : an on-going improvement learning co-parenting coaching process.

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Key overriding principles of Separated Fathers Inc.:

• Name and acknowledge the losses related to the break-up in the grieving process. (to understand and heal)

• Focusing on the HOW rather then the why. ( Coaching vs Therapy)

• Create awareness and educate of becoming a coparenting father. (re-defining our parenting role)

• To encourage and empower the capacity and skill sets of fatherhood through coparenting. ( To value  dialogue and each own's strengths)

• To leave as a heritage to my children. (what do I want my child to learn from me through this separation?)

• Propose practical conflict resolution tools in resolving parental issues. ( How to focus on coparenting communication )

• To understand (co-)parenting rights and responsibility: (Taking time as an active citizen to understand and to be properly informed on the family pre-legal and legal court system)

• Apply a masculine-gender approach to change. ( appreciative approach & focussing on men's perception on  health and well-being)

 

Five categories addressed in the coparenting coaching process:

• Health and wellness ; how to care of oneself while facing separation.

• Partnering ; coparenting communication/ dialogue with ex-partner.

• Chlidren's health and well-being ; communication about what to say or not to your child during the break-up.

• Finance ; budgeting.

• Pre-legal and legal ; how do you want to resolve this separation in the best win-win outcome for everyone; the children & parents wellness & health, grandparents & the entire community? What are your parental rights in a participative justice perspective, how to negotiate with a lawyer, how to prepare for meditaion.

 

Practical tools and strategies:

• Develop coparenting skills; communication skills; verbal and non-verbal, social media

• Educate on (co-)parental rights, how the court system works, how to negotiate efficiently with your lawyer..

• Giving meaning to the loss; not to undermine the emotional losses in a separation...

• Solution focused & non-violent communication;

• Value collaboration & mediation;

• Work on strengths and resilience based best practices.

 

Research-based and "experienced-based" (in the field training) intervention:

 Our competency coparenting coaching is based and inspired on research based findings* and front-line training** on how to better intervene with masculine based clientele.

 *Perceptions des hommes québécois de leurs besoins psychosociaux et de santé ainsi que de leur rapport aux services. Ce projet a été mené par le chercheur principal, Gilles Tremblay, PH.D., Service social, Université Laval 

** Pierre L'Heureux, M. Éd. Andragogie, Université de Montréal